Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Where should Jac Caglianone hit in the Royals order? - Royals Review

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Watch an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier make a close pass of Earth on June 5 - Space

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Solar 'cannonballs' may have stripped Mars of its water, long-awaited study reveals - Live Science

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why does a narcissist act like it's nothing when they hurt you?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I actually pay taxes

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Log in to your Samsung account by the end of next month or forever hold your peace - Android Police

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Stars goalie Jake Oettinger addresses benching by coach Pete DeBoer: ‘It’s embarrassing’ - Dallas News

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

The Surprising Way Five Days Of Junk Food Impacts Your Brain - MindBodyGreen

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Jennifer Garner reveals her secrets to being 53, flirty, and thriving in candid interview - New York Post

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP